Life Hacks Orinda Style
What a life hack I’ve discovered: No longer must I spend money on costly, exhilarating activities like zip-lining, white-water rafting or parasailing. I have adrenaline-rich moments galore simply crossing Moraga Way on foot, to walk my dogs at Wilder.
As an automobile driver, I’m grateful Moraga Way has relatively few stoplights. When traffic flows, it is pleasant cruising indeed. However, should a human body need to cross this road on foot, the thoroughfare becomes a death trap. Seriously, I have renewed gratitude for an extra day on this planet every single time I make a successful transfer.
My dreams came true the day a pedestrian crosswalk was installed at the blind intersection with Brookside Road, near McDonnell Nursery. However, a pedestrian crosswalk is merely an enhanced level of safety, not a guarantee you won’t be squashed like a possum. One must still make eye contact with oncoming drivers to confirm a mutual agreement they will obey the law and stop for the flashing
lights.
If I had a dollar for every time a driver simply blew right through the crosswalk – yellow warning lights twinkling away like a tacky Christmas display – I wouldn’t be thinking about retiring somewhere with a lower cost of living. Here I vacillate between anger and anxiety.
Anger at the audacity to blatantly ignore established traffic laws (followed by a humorous vision of chasing them Gomer Pyle-style, shouting “citizen’s arrest!”) and anxiety over the fact that the absentminded, or partially blind, driver may not have even seen the warning lights at all.
I should add that I am very careful and considerate as to when I actually press the button to activate the crosswalk. As opposed to my grown daughters, who view this as a “God Button” – meaning once pressed, you possess the ability to control the surrounding universe, all obstacles freezing to accommodate your demand – I wait patiently until the thoroughfare is relatively free from oncoming traffic. Even though it is quite a power trip to force traffic to a grinding halt, I don’t want that much attention, nor do I wish to cause a pile-up.
But here’s where even well-intentioned plans go afoul.
Because for every distracted driver that blazes through an activated crosswalk without a twinge of worry about the bad karma they invite, there are an equal number of super-considerate, attentive drivers who remember the facts they learned in Driver’s Ed. They will stop at the crosswalk for me even if I have yet to press the button.
Now we have a dilemma: Just because a driver in the near lane stops, this does not mean the drivers in the far lane stop. So now I feel people-pleasing pressure – compelled to press the button and wander halfway out into what now feels like the freeway, and hope that traffic in the far lane will stop for me. Meanwhile, traffic in the near lane accumulates. And I can feel them cursing me, because, you know, they’ve got places to go and people to see and I’m just a lady walking her dogs.
My solution requires acting skills.
Without standing near the crosswalk, I take out my phone and pretend to scroll, all while keeping a secretive eye on when the traffic is due to clear. This way, considerate drivers won’t feel compelled to stop. They are simply being helpful, but the truth of the matter is, it takes a united front just to cross the street.
Sigh. If only Wilder weren’t so breathtakingly beautiful.