Orinda resident, Jacalyn Buettner, is 69 and searching for love via a couple of online dating apps. Her friends, however, have kicked it up a notch by nominating her to be a contestant on ABC’s The Golden Bachelor, because of her loving, giving, vivacious zest for life and others.
Looking for love in her golden years, Jacalyn Buettner, age 69, might very well be Orinda’s most eligible bachelorette, and now her close friends want to see her on the ABC TV reality show, The Golden Bachelor.
The inaugural TV show proved, with 13.9 million viewers last year, that love has no age limits. The 22 eligible women said they felt seen, excited, sexy, desirable and important.
Buettner, who avidly watched its premier season, said, “The ladies on the show communicated HOPE.”
Born in the small town of Delphos, Ohio, Buettner left the day she graduated high school because, she said, “I wanted to be like Mary Tyler Moore, a big city career girl.”
She landed in Washington, D.C. where she got a job working for congressman Delbert Latta at the historic Rayburn House Office Building on Capitol Hill.
Living in Orinda since 1993, known as Dr. Jackie to many, Buettner is a chiropractor in San Francisco. She was widowed in 1999 when her husband lost his battle to melanoma.
“Our boys were five and seven, and Jack was sick seven out of the nine years we were together, so I know this impacted me in my search [for love],” she said.
Many times, fear of having to take care of another man pumped the brakes on her search for a partner, but now she knows exactly what she’s looking for.
“Throughout my life I have found some men to be intimidated by strong, independent women, so I’ve always known the man attracted to me would have to be confident and intelligent – and his independence would complement me, more as equals,” said Buettner.
Her confidence is exactly why some of her close friends nominated her to be on The Golden Bachelor.
“Jackie is a catch for any man lucky enough to get her attention. She loves a very healthy lifestyle, both physically and emotionally. She is a lover of life, full of energy and enthusiasm and a heck of a lot of fun anywhere she goes,” said Debra Minieri of Rockaway, New Jersey, who met Buettner via a Zoom coaching program called Relaunch.
“I nominated Jackie because she would take the process seriously, be very entertaining and she deserves to have all the forces of the universe working for her to find that love of her life,” Minieri added.
Valerie Shepherd, who also met Buettner through Relaunch, feels she would make the perfect candidate for many reasons:
“She’s walked on hot coals (literally). Her favorite saying, and she says it often, is ‘Yeah Baby.’ Her two favorite songs are epic and so forecasting why she should be on The Golden Bachelor – Hooked on a Feeling and Higher Love. She’s an adrenaline junky and is up for any crazy adventure – racing fast cars is a hobby,” said Shepherd. “And it’s not uncommon to find her attending events with her two boys (ages 29 and 31), such as Monster Truck Jam or Broadway plays, hiking and off-roading in the desert, wine tastings and attending Metallica concerts.”
Shepherd also said nominating Buettner took her less than five minutes by doing it online at goldenbachelornomination.castingcrane.com.
Joining two online dating apps, Bumble and Fitness Singles, Buettner feels she’s now in a good headspace to find love.
“I’ve been single for many years, but recently went online again in Oct. 2023. I joined Match.com three to four years ago and just didn’t enjoy the experience,” she said. “This time I feel more confident and truly ready to do whatever it takes to meet someone and also stay the course.”
With several dates under her belt, she realizes that even though a match looks good on paper, the sparks need to be there as well.
“I met a really nice man in Marin and we hiked a nature area,” she said. “He was into animal photography and we shared a great conversation. It was nice afterwards and while we concurred it was pleasant – there just wasn’t the right chemistry.”
Even when chemistry is present, other unexpected factors creep into the mix and have her throwing up her arms in confusion.
Like the time she met a man from Carmel. They emailed each other for several weeks on Bumble and finally did a video chat. Fifteen minutes into the chat, he suggested they meet in Santa Cruz. Up for an adventure, she said yes. They had lunch, went for a walk, sat on the beach and talked for hours.
“We held hands and it was a very comfortable connection,” she recalled. “It was fun to kiss and make out as well. I had to get home since I was leaving for Florida and while I was gone he traveled to his second home.”
Then the unexpected happened.
“I had 10 women over for dinner one night and showed them his profile – very sexy and sassy looking. However, he did not like the fact that I showed all my friends his profile – I think this was a deal breaker for him as he said to me ‘bad, bad, bad.’ I didn’t get it because hundreds of women view his profile online!”
Buettner said she misses the affection shared in a relationship – holding hands, snuggling up to one another on the sofa, talking about how the day went, current events, kids, what’s on the bucket list – and after watching Gerry (pronounced Gary) and the women on The Golden Bachelor, she had some takeaways about vulnerability.
“There’s an underlying fear of opening my heart again – the ladies on the show conveyed that it’s worth it to feel that love again and if not with Gerry, they created a forward momentum,” she said. “Who knows, by changing my thinking, my energy, opening my heart – becoming more open-minded, being courageous and practicing adventure, being more of an explorer on the online dating apps, taking the risk, having fun – I think it is possible to meet a man. One last takeaway was witnessing the pain of rejection – thinking you had the connection and you were ‘the one’ and then to be sent home.”
Minieri has faith in Buettner, should she be chosen for an upcoming season.
“She could handle the pressures that come with making hard decisions,” she said. “She is a lover of life, and a really great friend, boss, mom and would-be lover!”
Her friend Alison Shunneson, of Denver, Colorado, also nominated Buettner for the show, and believes in love in the golden years.
“I think singles can find love and companionship at any age. Love is not dictated by how old you are, but rather by your willingness to make yourself vulnerable and your capacity for fun and adventure. Dr. Jackie has all of the requirements,” said Shunneson. “She is smart, honest, loyal, kind, adventurous and funny. She checks all of the boxes. I think she would have a blast on the show and I also believe that the bachelor would be lucky to have her!”
