Don’t blame the cook for those picky eaters
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Over the holidays, my house became a revolving door of hungry boys. With three sons comes a parade of friends, and naturally, they all ended up eating with us at some point. That’s when I was reminded of how picky kids can be.
Some kids showed up for dinner having “already eaten”– a preemptive strike against food anxiety. Others picked out a single element of a meal, always a carb, and ate exclusively that.
Not to boast, but I do have a solid reputation as a good cook. In fact, a kid who “pre-ate” ended up having four servings of the pork fried rice I made that night. So my first thought? Smug judgment. I mentally patted me and my wife on the back for introducing our boys to diverse foods early and maintaining our “you eat what we eat” dinner policy. Clearly, these other parents had dropped the ball, right?
Wrong.
I checked my own snap judgement, so after a bit of research, I discovered that picky eating isn’t the parenting failure I’d assumed it was. According to a large body of research, those parents I was silently criticizing from my high horse might have done everything right. The real culprit is something they – and we – have zero control over: our genes.
Researchers studying over 2,400 sets of twins discovered that picky eating is about 60-74% genetic. That’s right – parenting skills aren’t to blame this time. The real troublemaker has been DNA all along.
The study found that identical twins (who share 100% of their genes) were far more likely to have matching food preferences than fraternal twins (who share only 50%). So if little Timmy won’t touch a vegetable, you can now confidently blame your parents’ genes instead of your cooking. The good news? Picky eating typically peaks around age seven, before gradually declining in adolescence.
While you can’t rewrite your child’s DNA (yet), researchers found that environmental factors do matter, especially during the toddler years. Here’s some helpful tips:
Start early and stay adventurous
Introduce a wide variety of foods, especially fruits and vegetables, before age two, when kids are more receptive. After that, their independent streak kicks in, and suddenly broccoli becomes the enemy.
Play the numbers game
Studies show children may need 10 to 15 positive exposures to a food before accepting it. Yes, that’s right – you might need to offer that rejected carrot stick 14 more times.
Make meals social, not stressful
Family dinners where everyone eats the same food (no short-order cooking) help normalize varied eating. Just keep it pleasant – turning dinner into a battleground only creates negative food associations.
Don’t join the “Clean Plate Club”
Forcing kids to finish everything can backfire spectacularly. A Generation R study suggests pressuring a kid to eat can lead to picky eating when they are older. Let them listen to their hunger cues, even if it means they eat three bites of dinner and suddenly claim they’re “starving” at bedtime.
Involve them in the process
Kids who help plan meals, shop for ingredients or prepare food are more likely to eat it. It’s harder to reject something you helped create (a lesson that applies to both cooking and parenting).
Most picky eaters maintain normal growth and eventually expand their palates. Until then, remember you’re not failing as a parent just because your child’s food pyramid looks more like a beige plateau.
In the meantime, try this easy recipe my kids love.
Indian-inspired Chicken and Veggies
Add 1-1.5 tsp salt, 2 tsp ground cumin, 2 tsp chile powder, 1tsp turmeric, 2 tsp garam masala, 1.5-2 tsp grated garlic, 1.5-2 tsp grated ginger (remember to peel the garlic and ginger first, use a microplane grater), and 1.5 tbsp vegetable oil to a bowl with 3 tbs of Greek yogurt and mix well.
Add 1.5-2lbs. of skinless, boneless chicken thighs (cut each thigh into roughly 3 pieces) to the bowl and make sure the marinade is covering all the pieces. Cover and put it in the fridge, preferably overnight, but 1-2 hours works.
Chop 3 bell peppers and one large red onion into 1” pieces. Put bell pepper and onion on a sheet pan and toss with 1.5 tsp cumin seeds, 3/4 tsp salt and 1.5 tbsp oil, spread out across the pan, then put the marinated chicken pieces on top of the pepper and onions in a single layer.
Pre-heat broiler, then put the sheet pan in the top third area of the oven and broil for about 8 minutes; pull the pan out, flip the chicken pieces and broil for another 8 or so minutes. There should be some crispiness to the chicken. I serve it with white rice. Serves our family of five.
