Celebrating their 62nd wedding anniversary this year, Mary Lou and John Fazel began their story in Iowa and have spent 53 years in Orinda.
When John Fazel crossed the Iowa State student union in 1958 on a blind date, he was meeting the girl Gamma Phi seniors claimed was “the sharpest pledge at rush.” John scanned the balcony for a girl who looked like she was waiting for someone.
When he found a candidate, he asked her name: “Maybe the girl says yes, maybe she doesn’t, based on what she sees,” said John.
Fortunately, Mary Lou said yes.
“These were Coke dates,” explained John. “The boys wore chinos, a crew neck sweater and Converse shoes so beat up, you used tape to hold them together. It was considered cool. We’d meet the girl and buy her a Coca Cola.”
A friendship began that day, but it couldn’t become more because John, a senior, was betrothed to his high school sweetheart.
It wasn’t until John graduated and started a pharmaceutical sales career that he realized he missed Mary Lou more than the other girl.
“She’d become my best friend,” said John. They began a long-distance relationship with John traveling from Omaha to Ames as she finished her degree in home economics. If she’d had her way, it would have been in veterinary medicine.
“Girls weren’t allowed to study that back then. I spent hours caring for horses and had to change in the union because the sorority didn’t like me to come back smelling like the barn!”
They were married Sept. 29, 1961, in Mary Lou’s hometown of Cedar Rapids, the same day University of Iowa played a Big 10 rival. There was a lack of men in the pews because many had gone to the game or were listening to it on radios in the parking lot, only to show up later for the reception.
“I distinctly remember Mary Lou’s wedding dress, which she made herself,” said John. “She’s very talented or as they would say back then, ‘she cooks, she sews, she makes her own clothes.’”
The newlyweds settled in Omaha, but promotions relocated them to Kansas City, and in 1970, to San Francisco where, with their four-year-old son KC, they bought a dilapidated fixer-upper in Orinda.
“The place was a mess, but we could afford it,” said Mary Lou, of the home they’ve lived in for 53 years and have renovated several times.
Since John traveled for his job, Mary Lou built roots for the family, which now included daughter Andrea. “We found community through the schools,” she said. KC was in the last class at the old Orinda school, now the library, and then went to Wagner Ranch which is now the community center. Mary Lou worked at Wagner Ranch, Sleepy Hollow and the district office.
“Those years were tough because I was flying so much,” said John. “It wasn’t until I stopped my sales career that life really began,” referring to the many ways he became involved in the community, pursued his love of endurance running and embarked on RV adventures with Mary Lou. They have explored Canada, Alaska and crossed the United States six times.
Mary Lou’s love of horses and dogs (they showed Schnauzers) has also been a big part of their lives. Together, with friends, they built the pull barn on Bear Creek Road, which is still standing near the PG&E substation. For 16 years, Mary Lou volunteered for Access Adventures, a non-profit organization which provides carriage rides for the disabled.
By volunteering them as Parents Club Presidents in 1979, Mary Lou started John’s involvement in the community. Since then, John has served in many capacities and was recently awarded 2023 Volunteer of the Year by the Orinda Community Foundation.
What’s the secret to a good marriage? Mary Lou claims it’s patience.
“We were also lucky to have good kids.” John insists friendship is key to a happy marriage. “If you’re fortunate to marry your best friend, the chances of that marriage succeeding increases exponentially.”
