Patricia Camras has lived in Orinda for 45 years and has taught at three local elementary schools including Del Rey, Glorietta and Sleepy Hollow. Camras’ new business, “The Positive Parenting Coach,” helps parents and children build better relationships.
Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and Orinda local Patricia Camras is aware of how tricky the job can be.
With over a decade of experience teaching in local elementary schools like Del Rey and Sleepy Hollow, a master’s degree in psychology and experience parenting her own children, Camras knows firsthand how deeply parenting styles influenced the children throughout her life.
“Without really looking at how you were parented, you’re destined to repeat the same patterns, and some of them are not helpful at all,” she said.
So Camras took the steps to become a professional parenting coach, receiving her certification from the Jai Institute for Parenting, and started her business, “The Positive Parenting Coach,” last year, right here in Orinda.
Originally from Southern California, Camras moved to the Bay Area to attend UC Berkeley for undergraduate college. She settled down in Orinda roughly 45 years ago and says proudly “she never went back,” unless to visit her family of course. Now Camras’ children are grown and have little ones of their own, but she says watching her grandkids grow up has helped her to reflect on her own experience raising her children.
“I used to lose my temper with my kids,” Camras said. “As they were growing up, I could see that that didn’t work. So instead of trying to control them and command them and cajole them, I took on a different role as a trusted adviser. I changed the relationship.”
Camras described her style of parenting as “peaceful parenting.” She said she’s passionate about teaching parents and grandparents how to scale back on screaming, yelling and indulging in overprotective behaviors that can lead to rifts in parent-child relationships – something she experienced with her own children. But in order to create strong and healthy adults, Camras believes children should be treated with respect and empathy to foster communicative relationships that benefit everyone.
One of the ways Camras took steps to change her relationship with her own kids and grandkids is a technique she uses called “sportscasting.” Instead of immediately reprimanding children for unwanted behaviors, sportscasting encourages parents to describe the action the children are doing so they feel heard before trying to change them. Camras said this shift encourages a more positive, communicative relationship where children feel supported.
She said she uses this technique with her own granddaughter when she can sense she’s feeling a strong emotion. Instead of assuming her thoughts and jumping to a fix, she names what she thinks she’s feeling and leaves the discussion out in the open, giving her granddaughter the space to affirm or deny what she’s just said.
“Back in elementary school when I was working with third graders, we had warm fuzzies and cold pricklies. Giving each other warm fuzzies is noticing what somebody’s doing well and then acknowledging it.”
Today Camras incorporates less discussion of “warm fuzzies” than she did in her elementary school teaching days, though the sentiment remains true. At her core, Camras believes positivity is her super power.
“I do have a real positive attitude and a positive outlook, and I share that with people as well as peace and relaxation. People can let go, they can have hope and so positivity is absolutely one of the things I bring to the table,” she said.
Less than a year into opening her business, Camras’ coaching is already making an impact with her clients. Local realtor Kat Sellis said it has transformed the once tumultuous relationship with her daughter.
“I learned to lead with curiosity when approaching a situation instead of leading with judgment. That was huge for me, because before [Camras’ coaching] my relationship was completely broken, there was no communication,” said Sellis. “But actually, today [my daughter] leaned over and gave me a hug and a kiss and I was like, Oh my god!”
Currently, Camras offers her services via Zoom. Clients can choose between a 12-week parenting group session package or individual parent coaching sessions, which can be scheduled through her website at thepositiveparentingcoach.com.
